Holiday Harmony: Expert Tips for Joyful Celebrations

Laughing Our Way to Peaceful Celebrations

Introduction: Taming the Holiday Circus

Ah, the holidays! I have a LOT of opinions about the holidays- check out What I Love and Hate About the Holidays. This time, I wanted to give preemptive methods to curb the crazy stuff. Let’s stick to knowing that it’s a time for joy, togetherness, and the occasional kid-caused chaos. So, I decided to check out what the pros had to say. We've gathered expert advice from Dr. Laura Markham, Dr. Ross Greene, and Dr. Alan E. Kazdin to help you keep the holiday cheer intact while enjoying a few laughs (and possibly more turkey) along the way.

Holiday messes are unavoidable - buy a more potent vacuum cleaner.

Diwali Delight: Dr. Laura Markham's Wisdom

During Diwali or any festive occasion, it's easy for kids to go wild with firecrackers. Dr. Laura Markham suggests setting clear boundaries with a smile and involving them in safe activities, like lighting diya lamps. (Yes, but do you feel comfortable about asking them to light anything with a match deliberately? - James)

Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwaanza and More: Insights from Dr. Ross Greene

When Thanksgiving rolls around, or it’s Hanukkah or Kwaanza and it's time to light the menorah or the kinara, kids can turn into restless little creatures. Dr. Ross Greene advises engaging them with meaningful tasks. Let them decorate the table, share stories about the holiday, and don't forget to add a sprinkle of humor. (Yes, laugh, laugh, laugh. After all, you’ll be cleaning up the mess later. - James)

Last touches to Thanksgiving display. Notice the LED, fireless candle. That’s what I’m talking about!

Crafting Christmas Magic: Dr. Alan E. Kazdin's Advice

The Christmas tree is up, and ornaments are at stake! Dr. Alan E. Kazdin recommends positive reinforcement to keep those prized decorations intact. Create a "Safe Crafting Zone," but make sure to laugh off the occasional glitter explosion (And try to stay positive as you continue to find glitter in the weirdest places all the way through to Mother’s Day - James).

Better to do the cutting on the floor and not once the ornaments are hanging on the tree.

Counting Down to the New Year: Dr. Laura Markham's Tip

As the New Year approaches, kids' routines may face bedtime upheaval. Dr. Laura Markham suggests planning a family-friendly countdown with games and snacks. And don't forget to bring out the party hats and, of course, the laughter! (And having a couple of glasses of champagne will help keep your own levity level high, too - James).

This is a kid-friendly early fireworks display - s.m.a.r.t.!

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Holiday Harmony in a Nutshell: Key Points to Remember

• Set clear boundaries for firecrackers during Diwali and involve kids in safe activities.

• Engage restless children during Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Kwaanza and other celebrations with meaningful tasks.

• Create a designated crafting area for Christmas ornaments, using positive reinforcement to keep them safe.

• Plan a family-friendly New Year's countdown, allowing kids to celebrate while maintaining their sleep schedule.

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All jabs aside, I think that with these expert tips and a hearty dose of humor, you're well-equipped to enjoy the holiday season while managing your kids’ occasional or endemic antics. So, let the holidays be filled with laughter, love, and, most importantly, food!

Er, I mean, loads of cherished memories! 🎉🤣👨‍👩‍👧‍👦✨

The Hilarious Quest for Father-Son Halloween Costumes

A Tale of Homemade Costume Woes

As a dad at 65, now 75 (but looking 35, right?), I've been around the Halloween block a few times. Every year, I try to convince my 10-year-old son Aaron to ditch his ninja costume obsession. You see, since he was a wee lad of 3, he's been all about those stealthy, silent warriors. And here's the kicker: he doesn't even like ninjas! Go figure, right?

But hey, we've got a tradition going, and who am I to crush a perfectly good Halloween tradition? That is until you outgrow the outfit and really need to find something new. So I proposed we try to create our own father-son duo costumes this year. Can we actually get it done in time? Can we have a consensus about the costumes?

The Search for the Ultimate Father-Son Costume

From what I’ve read, the quest for the perfect father-son Halloween costume can be a wild ride. You scour the internet for inspiration, only to find Pinterest boards that look like they belong in a modern art museum. I mean, have you seen those intricate DIY tutorials? They made me feel woefully untalented.

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Armed with glue, scissors, and a whole lot of optimism (thank you, Javier, for giving me some advice) I embarked on the "DIY Costume Adventure of a Lifetime." But let me tell you, folks, it's not all smooth sailing in Costume-land.

The Perils of Homemade Costumes

1. Glue Mishaps: Ever tried gluing sequins onto a costume at 2 AM? We have, (well, my wife Monika, actually) and it's like trying to perform brain surgery with a butter knife. Aaron ended up with a sparkly dinosaur for the school’s talent show.

2. Sewing Scares: Sewing machines are a breed of their own. I’ve tried - my friend Ana lent me her Singer - but two attempts and I accidentally sew my thumb to the costume. Let's just say I’m opting for duct tape from now on.

3. Pinterest Fails: Those Pinterest tutorials? Yeah, they're secretly created by aliens with three extra thumbs. I tried to follow one for a mummy and found out toilet paper is NOT as strong as it claims to be.

4. The Time Crunch: Homemade costumes take time, and procrastination is the real monster of Halloween. Suddenly, you're hot-gluing (or duct-taping) cat ears to a cardboard box 30 minutes before the show starts.

Embrace the Chaos, Embrace the Fun?

After careful consideration and minor cuts, I gave up on the homemade costume idea. It seems to me that in the end, homemade costumes are not supposed to be the end goal, they’re memory-making events that bring a lot of laughter, and embarrassment and require a cleaning crew to deal with the aftermath. I’m sure they make for legendary Halloween stories.

Aaron decided to play along and come up with his own DYI Halloween costume.

So, whether your kid insists on being a reluctant ninja for the seventh year in a row or you embark on a DIY adventure that turns your concept for T-Rex into something that looks more like a misunderstood broccoli, remember this: Halloween is all about embracing the wacky, the wild, and the wonderfully messy.

As for Aaron and me, we’re not discarding making up our own costumes yet. We’ve been to every Halloween costume store here in Las Vegas and still cannot find anything we like. One thing's for sure – if we do craft our own father-son costume duet it's bound to be an obnoxious adventure, filled with more dad jokes and Aaron’s sarcasm than you can shake a candy-filled pumpkin at!

Happy Halloween, you brave costume creators! May your glue guns stay hot, your sewing needles stay unattached to thumbs, and your Halloween memories be unforgettable.

And yes, remember to take a lot of pictures!

Lucky Dad

As a kid growing up in Iowa in the 1950s I remember believing how finding a four-leaf clover would bring one good luck. There were even songs about it - I don’t remember the lyrics. With St. Patrick’s Day here I found myself remembering the clover I hadn’t thought about in years.

I was six when I first learned about the good luck clover. I was instantly hooked. My friends and I would typically be on the lookout for these anytime we hit the open fields or empty lots, where we would gather to play ball. 

It soon became a little obsession of mine. For a while, I would walk to school staring down at the sidewalk (I was told those found growing between cracks brought the most luck) and examining all grassy lawns as well as all weed-infested planters along the way. My older brother eventually noticed my strange behavior and wanted to know what was I looking for.

“Loose change”, I lied.

“In Mrs. Jackson’s petunias?”

“You never know”. He shook his head with a “just another Jimmy scheme” look on his face.

Like I needed competition in finding a four-leaf clover! There was no way I was sharing my good fortune with anyone!

Weeks went by and not one of us had found one. By now I’d already tried all known methods to find one, including using peek-a-boo (quickly looking at planted areas, trying to catch one before they hid again - yes, apparently lucky clovers could do that) or blinking three times and spinning clockwise ten times before trying to find one. BTW, this last one should never be attempted on a full stomach.

When I look back I recall I spent weeks and weeks really deep in my “four-leaf-clover-or-bust” mission. In reality, I’m sure it was only two or three at the most but, boy, were they intense!

Then one day it happened. 

I had just put down my lunchbox by a mixed grassy/weedy patch near school when I noticed the tiny, bright green miracle plant staring back at me. I suddenly realized I wasn’t sure what to do next. Did I have to pull it? Was it enough to see it to be the winner? 

I suddenly became aware that there were other kids around so I just reached out, ripped the little thing without much ceremony, and stuffed it into my lunchbox. Good luck was finally mine!! 

My friends were impressed, and not a little jealous. It felt good to be the hotshot for the next couple of days.

That is until  I heard that the three-leaf clover was even luckier than the one with four leaves, and another boy had found one on St. Patrick’s Day.

Three-leaves? St. Patrick? Who’s that anyway? I had invested the better part of what seemed like a lifetime to get that lucky clover and it turned out it wasn’t that lucky anyway?

“When’s that?”

“March.”

“But it’s May! I have to wait a whole year!?” That hit me like a punch to the gut.

The disappointment must have been written across my face when I got home that day because, as luck would have it,  my Dad had just gotten back from a sales trip and was relaxing in the living room when I came in. Caught up in my own thoughts I had not noticed him and was startled when he called me over.

“Jimmy! Come over here.”

Mom was in the kitchen but had already fixed him a coffee - his routine after days on the road. He was quietly sipping it.

“Hey, Dad.”

“What’s on your mind?”

At six years old I still felt I could tell my dad anything.

“My lucky clover is not so lucky.” With dejection, I took the now very limp little plant from my pocket, where I kept it wrapped in a handkerchief, and told him what I’d learned earlier.

My Dad held the little clover in his hand, gently extending each of the leaves. That was one dead-looking plant, and I suddenly felt sad for it.

“Well, I’ll be. A lucky clover, you say?”

“Yeah, but not the luckiest.” 

“ I don’t know much about three or four-leaf clovers, son. But I know you make your own luck in life.”

He could see his pep talk wasn’t working. 

“What I’m trying to say is that, as I look at this four-leaf clover, I think how lucky you already are. You have a family.” Then he tapped each of the leaves lightly, calling out our names. “See? A leaf per each of us. Family. You already are the luckiest kid in the world.”

I could see this was going to go from sappy to sappier once my mother came in so I nodded, and quickly took my leave.

“Hey, don’t you want your clover?”

“You can keep it, dad.” And I ran into my bedroom. I probably don’t need to tell you about the mixture of conflicting emotions I was experiencing at that moment. I think I cried - I still wanted to have the luckiest clover. Yet something in me did listen because from that point on I stopped looking for lucky clovers, or any lucky charms, for good.

Thinking back about that day I recognize how right Dad had been right. We make our own luck in life, and I believe lucky clovers are there to remind us of this. 

My dad had been right about luck, and he had also been right about family. When I raise my three-leaf clover today on St. Patrick’s Day, it’s my three children I’ll be thinking of, a leaf for each of them, and count myself the luckiest dad in the world.

What I Love and Hate About the Holidays

Everyone has a holiday tradition, a holiday recipe, a holiday story that shapes how they celebrate what we call the Holiday Season. Be it Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year’ s (did I forget any?) most of us hold one of these, some of these or all of these close to our heart. (For those of you who do not celebrate any of these I salute you, you probably have a shorter gift list than mine).

To me. the holidays start on Thanksgiving Day.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and also the most problematic.  The issue is inviting people to share my turkey (I know, it could be easier if I didn’t invite no one, however sitting and eating turkey with only the family is kind of boring.) I’m not cheap and I am a sharing person but … 

My favorite part of the turkey are the legs and the wings.   As we know a turkey only has two of each.   So every year, when the guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner, I make this announcement: “Thank you all for coming. Enjoy the food and wine and everything that I share with you today on this festive day, when we remember our ancestors who came to this country and ripped off the Native Americans. BUT DON’T EAT THE TURKEY LEGS OR THE WINGS. THEY’RE MINE.” Of course, there is always someone asking for a wing or a leg. DON’T PEOPLE LISTEN? It’s my mistake. I should give everyone a printed flyer when they arrive at my house with my rules about the turkey.

So this year, after many years of being kind of an ass about my turkey and people resenting my bad  attitude, I bought two turkeys: a 12 Pound Organic Turkey for the guests and a second 8 Pound Organic Turkey For me. Problem FINALLY solved!  And now I love Thanksgiving all over again.

Then we move to Chanukah - also known as “The Feast of Lights” and “8 days of presents”. (By the way, no, there’s no “proper” way of spelling Chanukah, I happen to use ‘ch”.) Having eight days of presents is great when the kids are younger. You give them a little gift everyday, something little and inexpensive,  and they’re happy.

But I hate when they get older they start expecting better gifts, so I came up with the 1 Gift Rule: I’ll get them something that they really want and that it’s not too expensive. 

Now Aaron, my 8-year-old, wants a Nintendo Switch.  I’m not cheap but they cost over $400 plus you have to buy the games. C’mon, he already has an iPhone and a computer! I told him that if he wants one, he can go out and get a job. He opted for his second-best and so I bought him Pokemon cards, and he was happy.

Now we move on to Christmas.

I grew up without having a Christmas tree. I used to go to friends’ homes and sit by their trees and  listen to Holiday music - and if it snowed it was a bonus. So  5 years ago I decided I would have a tree too. It wasn’t going to be a Christmas tree but a Holiday tree (that’s how the Jewish people rationalize having a tree). We decorate it with lights and baubles and tinsel, and I make sure to always put a Star of David on top.

Then I put presents under the tree about 10 days before December 25 and everyone tries  to guess what’s in the boxes - they’re all empty though, I just like to see nicely wrapped presents under the tree, it looks good. I sit by my fireplace, with the tree lit up, and listen to Holiday music - and if it ever snows on Christmas day here in Las Vegas it will shock the heck out of me but I’m sure I’ll love it. It’s great.

But I hate when Christmas is over and I have clean up the smelly tree and dispose of the crappy wrapping paper. That’s a two day job - I’m methodical, this is the way I work, so I’ll take no rushing from anyone. I say every time “this is the last year I do this” but I know we’ll do it again next year.

And then there’s New Year’s. The dancing, the champagne, the noise, the dogs barking, the neighborhood joker who sets off 200 fireworks at the same time at 2 am…DON’T GET ME STARTED!

Anyway, I hope your holidays are filled with everything you love and very little of what drive you nuts. Pass the wine bottle.