I walked into his room at  7am - he was sound asleep. 

Of course I come into his room every day to wake him up, get him breakfast and start our day. But today was different. I watched him sleep for about 5 minutes , sad and excited for him.

My little boy was growing up.

I got into bed next to him and gave him a hug and a kiss, and then another kiss, telling him he had to get up.

“We got to get you ready.”

“Is it time for school, Daddy? Yay!” He was so excited! I told him I would start making him his breakfast and made a mental note to remind him of this moment on those mornings he will hate getting up for school .

I had laid out his uniform for school at the bottom on the bed - everything was neatly pressed for his  first day. I stopped for a sec. Was it too neat? Were the folds too crisp? Would people figure out I’m an ironing and pressing freak? I shook the thought away.

I stood at the door, being pulled by the kitchen and, at the same time, unable to leave.

“Do you need help getting dressed?”

“No, Daddy. I can do it by myself, I’m a big boy now. I’m going to school!”, Aaron replied, beaming.

I nodded and smiled and left, knowing that putting on the tie would not be easy for such small hands. I had just started the eggs when he yelled for help.

“Right on cue”, I thought to myself, quietly grateful that he still needed my help. Soon enough the only yells I’ll probably get from him will be “Where’s my phone?” or “Privacy, please!”

I secured the tie, making sure it looked perfect, and let him work on his shoelaces. He was always confused by the shoelaces. He kinda got them tied up. They weren’t very neat but they would not come undone either. Good boy!

We had his favorite breakfast, waffles and eggs, a glass of milk, some orange juice. I kept checking the time constantly, didn’t want us to be late and yet, all the same, I wanted time to stand still. I was treasuring every second of this morning.

“Time to go, young man! Get your knapsack and your lunchbox!”

“Yes, Daddy.” Yes, Daddy, he said. One day too soon it’ll probably be “Huh?” or “Duh”.

We went through what would happen on his first day of school, what to expect. I watched through rearview mirror - he looked like a miniature business man in his uniform and tie, so small in his car seat. “Do we really need to do this today?” I thought to myself. Kids also start school a little later, like when they’re 6, 7 or even 20 years old… My inner reverie was interrupted by the Student School Delivery system this school has in place. I had been warned about the Car Line Game but suddenly encountering it had me regretting volunteering to bring Aaron to school every morning. I am, as those who know me will tell you, not a patient driver.

Hand in hand, we walked to his classroom, where his home teacher greeted us with genuine enthusiasm.

“Hello Aaron! Hello Mr. Dudelson! Welcome to First Grade. Aaron, go ahead and take a seat.”

I gave him a big kiss.

“I’ll see you later, ok?”

“Ok. I love you, Daddy”.

“I love you too. Have a great day at school.”

And I got up, turned around and walked away without looking back once. I can’t say if my eyes were watery from allergies or if I suddenly experienced a few sniffles because of it. Like my other two kids, Aaron will too grow older, become self-reliant and set out to burn his own path in life, and I wouldn’t wish anything but all of that for him. Today was the first day of Aaron’s journey into independence, and the last day of Daddy being the main focus of his attention.

I sat in my car for about 10 minutes and realized how much I already I missed him.